Kong Battles for the Golden Woman

Kong Battles for the Golden WomanDeep in the jungle on a remote island off the west coast of Sumatra, a native maiden hides as the mighty Kong battles a tyrannosaur. She does not even know which of the two savage titans to root for, if she must take sides at all.

In the original King Kong movie from 1933, Skull Island’s native inhabitants decide Fay Wray’s character would make a unique sacrifice to their ape-god since she is a “golden woman” (i.e. blonde). The irony is that, since the dark-skinned islanders themselves appear to be of Melanesian stock, blondes would not be so scarce within their population. Blond hair does pop up as an indigenous trait in Melanesian populations, as well as Aboriginal Australians, and it appears to have evolved separately from the better-known blondism in Europeans. White American filmmakers need not show up on Skull Island’s shores for the locals to have their prized golden women.

Although Kong was originally conceived by his creators as an over-sized gorilla (he was inspired by 19th century sensationalistic accounts that exaggerated gorillas’ savage behavior), I chose to give my Kong a more orangutan-like appearance since unlike gorillas, orangutans actually are native to Southeast Asia near Skull Island’s location. Nonetheless I gave his shaggy coat a blond-ish color since it would better match his “bride”. Who knows, maybe this Kong prefers blondes since he’s a blond ape himself!

As for the tyrannosaur, I reckon it is descended not from the North American T. Rex but an Asian species like Tarbosaurus or Zhuchengtyrannus.

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